Bobby Goren and the Irresistible Book
by TrinityWildcat
Summary: Bobby, stop distracting me. I'm trying to read my book. Inspired by 'Harry Potter and the HalfBlood Prince. Note: If you haven't finished reading 'Perfect End to an Awful Day', finish that first.


Bobby Goren and the Irresistible Book

Author's Note: For the purposes of this fic, the book in question is "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince", and I'm altering "reality" inasmuch as this fic is set around November and the book has just been published - for reasons that will be obvious. To answer a question I received by email: Heathrow is the main airport for international flights departing London.

Note for new readers: Sienna Tovitz is an original character I created in my first Criminal Intent fan fiction, 'Army Fatigues'. By the time the events related here occur, she and Bobby have been living together for a couple of months.

_Apartment of Bobby Goren (and Sienna Tovitz), one cold evening in New York_

"Ah, nice to be home… jeez, Bobby, it's cold in here! Did you forget to call the maintenance man? I swear the heating's not working."

"I knew there was something I forgot to do today. Damn. Let's hop into bed. Keep each other warm."

"Hmm. Now, I might begin to think you didn't call the maintenance man on purpose."

"Would I do that? Okay, you don't have answer that. Come on in. The bed's all warm and cosy, and you can snuggle up to me. I don't like to think of you getting cold. If you like I'll even bring you hot chocolate."

"Mmm yes. Good book, hot chocolate, nice warm man to snuggle up to. This is shaping up to be a good evening."

_a short time later_

"Would you stop doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Attempting to distract me. I want to finish this. I can't believe I managed to leave it locked in my suitcase during the flight over. I meant to take it out at Heathrow, but I forgot. I was halfway through, too. Spent the entire flight trying to read it over the shoulder of the guy in front."

"I am not attempting to distract you."

"Excuse me? What else do you call what your hand is doing at the moment?"

"Male reflex, caused by the presence of a warm, soft, beautiful, naked female in my bed."

"I _knew_ you had an ulterior motive! Well, you're not distracting me. And you can stop trying to peer over my shoulder. You can borrow it after me if you want to read it yourself."

"I was just wondering if it's as good as the others."

"Sometimes I think I'm in bed with a big kid."

"Mmm… You know, you're very, very appealing when you're all naked and lying on your side with your back to me, absorbed in your book, totally oblivious to the world around you. Makes me understand why so many myths begin with the lecherous god watching the sweet, innocent nymph bathing herself in the pool, captivated by her reflection, all unawares…"

"Your attempt at graceful classical allusion would be more successful if you weren't poking me in the back."

"Still think you're in bed with a kid?"

"No. And any _attempt_ at making an innuendo involving the words 'magic' and 'wand' will result in you getting an elbow somewhere you won't like. I've been waiting to read this all day."

"I'm deeply hurt that you consider the adventures of a pubescent wizard more interesting than me."

"You WILL be deeply hurt if you don't stop distracting me. I want to finish this before I next speak to my mom; she's bound to let slip who dies."

"Okay, okay. I'm going to read the Smithsonian. Satisfied?"

_a pause _

"You know, you'll get a crick in your neck if you read lying on your side. Why don't you sit up, and you can lean against me. Much warmer and more comfortable that way."

"This is another of your ruses, and I'm not falling for it."

"Okay... look, you don't have to DO anything. I haven't seen you for days and I miss you. PLEASE can we just…"

"…no, you KNOW I can't resist you when you do that, STOP it."

"No. You wriggle so delightfully. Actually, you can stay lying just like that if you like, I know you love it when I snuggle up behind you _just_ like this, that's it, stay exactly like that, honey…"

"Bobby, I am not sleeping with you whilst reading Harry Potter. That's just wrong in so many ways."

"Then you'd better stop reading for at least ten minutes. I promise not to take any longer than that."

"Okay, I give in… oh, don't stop, do that harder…. Hang on a minute!"

"What? Do we need to stop? You _did_ get to the doctor last week?"

"Oh yes, of course I did. Do I LOOK stupid? I just need to mark my page!"

_a short but pleasurable interlude later_

"Mmmm. Better, my love?"

"Oh, yes. I miss you when you're not here, beautiful Sienna."

"I miss you, too. Mmm. Lovely and warm."

"Come on, sit up and lean against me. Just sit between my legs and lean back against my chest… there, how's that?"

"Just great. Aaahhh…. You make a nice armchair."

"Always happy to help."

"Now where was I?"

"Has she killed anyone off yet?"

"Not yet, but I think I might be getting near it. This bit is really scary."

"Wow. You read really quickly. You've finished two chapters already since you got here?"

"How do you know that… You ARE reading over my shoulder!"

"No I'm not."

"Only because you're reading over the top of my head! Stop it!"

"mumblechaptermumble."

"I'm sorry?"

"I said… I got up to this chapter and then I had to stop. I just want to see where it goes from here."

"You've been reading it too?"

"Yes. Stop giggling."

"I'm not giggling. It's only been published a day or so, you must have bought it straight away… I'm impressed at your self-control; I couldn't put it down."

"Well…"

"You must have been reading through the night."

"Well, yeah, kind of."

"What made you stop?"

"mumbleEamesmumble."

"Bobby, stop mumbling."

"When Eames called me to ask if I was sick and not coming in and I realised I was late for work…. _you're laughing again_."

"Hee, sorry."

"It's not that funny."

"Actually it is… okay, sweetheart. You got up to here?"

"Yes, I think I got this far. More hot chocolate?"

"Please…. NOOOO! SHE CAN'T DO THAT!"

"Apparently she can…damn. I didn't see that coming!"

"That's it. Make more hot chocolate! We're not stopping until we finish this book!"

FIN.


End file.
